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RASAC Support for Family & Friends

When we care about someone we might want to help them...

But when supporting someone who has experienced rape, sexual abuse or exploitation it is very important that you also take care of yourself as well.

Doing this will likely mean that you can be more helpful and whilst we recognise that this may not always be easy, there are some key things that you can do which will help at this time.

How you might be feeling

Finding out that someone you care for has experienced sexual violence can be extremely upsetting and confusing. You may have difficulty understanding what has happened. You may have many questions and want to do your best to help the survivor. The most important thing to know is that the person responsible for the abuse is the perpetrator. It is never the survivor’s or another person’s fault.

Family members, partners and friends may struggle with feelings of guilt and blame for not being able to prevent or stop the abuse, even if they were not around at the time. Such feelings are common, as are feelings of anger, frustration and grief. Remember, that whatever you are feeling as a supporter is valid and real. Some family members and partners can be significantly affected by what they hear. This is sometimes known as vicarious or secondary trauma.

Get Support for yourself

Getting support with these feelings is vital in ensuring that you can appropriately support the survivor. Survivors are experiencing their own emotions as a result of what has happened and it is important that any further distress about the impact on family members or partners is minimised. Support and information is available.

You can contact us to speak with a support worker. You may wish to meet with a worker face to face or access our resource library which has a range of literature available. RASAC P&K also run regular family support groups which can be beneficial in helping you to identify and manage your own emotions.

Remember that you are an important person. It may be difficult, but in some circumstances, you may be unable to support your family member or partner. Recognising your own limitations and seeking support for yourself is important. Be kind to yourself. Remember that ignoring your own feelings will not be beneficial to a survivor or yourself in the long term.

Contact us for more information or Support

What we can do to support you:

One to one support – We can offer 3 to 6 sessions of support in person, through online video, on the phone, by text or email with a support worker. To refer yourself you can call our helpline or email us at support@rasacpk.org.uk

Helpline – Although our helpline is not picked up at specific times, if you call and leave a message, including your name and contact number, we will return the call as soon as possible,

RASAC P&K Helpline – 01738 630965
Rape Crisis Scotland Helpline – 5pm-Midnight, 08088 01 03 02

Tips on how you can support your friend/loved one…

When a friend or someone you love tells you that they have been abused/assaulted/raped you can often feel helpless. But think about the times in your own life when you have faced some sort of crisis or upset, and remember what helped you most then. It probably wasn’t any one thing -simply knowing that your friends loved ones believed you, were on your side, and wanted to see you through. That is how you can help now. You can be a good support if you:

Listen to your friend/loved one
Don’t force them to tell you what happened - this can make things worse for some people
Accept and don’t judge
Reassure them that you won’t tell anyone else (unless a child/vulnerable adult is at serious risk of harm)
Be patient with your friend/loved one
We can help you understand how you can support your loved one through Support Sessions. Remember the survivor you are supporting does not need to get support through RASAC P&K or elsewhere for you to access information or support.