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Neurodiversity, Intimacy and Sexual Violence

What is neurodiversity?

The 17-23rd of March is Neurodiversity Celebration Week, but what is neurodiversity? Approximately 15-20% of the population has a neurological difference, and neurodiversity is often used as an umbrella term for people who are neurodivergent. This includes people with a range of developmental and learning disabilities, from autism and ADHD, to dyspraxia (DCD), dyscalculia, dyslexia, and Tourette’s syndrome.

A window into neurodiversity and experiences of abuse

There is evidence that neurodivergent people are more likely to experience abuse and sexual violence than the general population:

 

 

 

 

 

 

The reasons for this are complex. Stigma, stereotypes and discrimination affect how disabled people experience the world. Neurodivergent people may be at greater risk of sexual violence due to factors like:

  • Social isolation
  • Not getting neuroinclusive sex education
  • Being more dependent on caregivers or people they are close to, meaning they have less power in those relationships
  • Not immediately recognising behaviours as being abusive
  • Being perceived by perpetrators as more vulnerable
  • Communication barriers that make disclosing abuse harder

Getting support and disclosing experiences of sexual violence can often be made more difficult by inaccurate, ableist assumptions about disabled people and sex; that disabled people don’t need sex education, are undesirable, aren’t at risk of abuse, or simply aren’t interested in having romantic or sexual partners.

 

Neurodiversity and intimacy

A 2024 UK study  asking young people with ADHD and/or autism about their experiences of relationships and sex education noted that those with ADHD were more likely to have had romantic experiences than autistic participants, despite both groups desiring romantic connections.

One 2022 study found that young women with ADHD reported experiencing intense feelings of attraction when meeting new people, and this sometimes led to impulsive decisions to enter temporary sexual relationships, such as one-night stands. Women also said that engaging in sexual behaviours that didn’t feel socially acceptable made it more difficult to talk to friends or healthcare professionals. In new relationships, women with ADHD often adjusted their behaviour because they were scared of being ‘too much’, but couldn’t continue masking long-term.

While factors like social isolation, finding it hard to communicate, or experiencing intimate relationships differently may make neurodivergent people more vulnerable to abuse, the only person who is ever responsible for sexual violence is the perpetrator.

 

Support for neurodivergent survivors

At RASAC Perth & Kinross, we are here to listen, believe and support. Members of our team and survivors we support are neurodivergent, and we are keen to enable neurodivergent survivors to access the support they need. This might include:

  • Meeting in our support rooms, which offer low, soft lighting, soft furnishings such as blankets, fidget toys and sensory tools.
  • Meeting at another location that feels comfortable to you.
  • Contacting you in the way you prefer, such as text or email rather than phone calls.
  • Meeting in the same place at the same time, for example the same support room each time.
  • Contacting you in advance of your first visit to explain what will happen when you arrive.
  • Sending you pictures of the building and support rooms ahead of your visit.
  • Providing easy-read resources, talking through our resources with you, or adapting our resources to suit your needs.

You may not know yet what adjustments might help, and you don’t need to have a formal diagnosis of neurodivergence to talk to us about additional needs – we can work together to find a way forward.

Contact us

If you have experienced sexual violence and want our support:

  • Email us at support@rasacpk.org.uk
  • Give us a call on 01738 630965. One of our team will answer the call or you’ll be able to leave a message with your contact number and we will call you back as soon as possible. You do not have to leave your real name if you do not want to, and you can request a reply by text or email.
  • You can also call the National Helpline every evening from 6pm on 08088 01 03 02.

Why February? LGBT+ History Month and the role of education...

Why February?

LGBT+ History Month and the role of education

LGBT+ History Month was founded by Schools OUT UK in 2004, but what is it and why does it happen in February?

Homosexuality was decriminalised in England and Wales in 1967 but continued to be illegal in other parts of the British Isles for some time. Where it was decriminalised, the age of consent for homosexual acts often remained higher than for heterosexual acts.

Section 28 (2A in Scotland) was in place for much of this period, from 1986 to 2003 (2000 in Scotland). Under this legislation, local authorities could “not intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality.”

In practice, this meant that sex and relationships education was absent for LGBT+ young people, and that schools failed to protect their students from bullying & harassment. Justine, one of our support workers, remembers her own experiences under Section 28:

“At school, being gay was something no adults spoke about. When I came out and was bullied, it wasn’t addressed. Teachers panicked when I went to them for help – they just shut the conversation down and told me they couldn’t speak about it further. Some of them said I should be ‘less obvious’ and ‘keep things to myself’. Any education about sexual health or relationships wasn’t relevant to my life – it felt like LGBT+ people were invisible.”

Following the repeal of Section 28 in England and Wales in February 2003, Schools OUT sought to break this silence, working to create spaces for learning where everyone can feel safe. LGBT History Month gives us an opportunity to remember not only the end of Section 28, but also the importance of education for all young people on topics that affect their lives. At RASAC PK, our prevention team delivers a range of age-appropriate, interactive workshops in schools to raise awareness of the aspects of society that contribute to sexual violence and what a healthy relationship looks like. Megan, one of our support workers, sees the impact creating space for open, safe conversations can have:

“After our prevention sessions, we established a drop-in space at the school to provide a safe environment for students to come forward if they felt impacted by the information that had been discussed. It became clear that there was a strong need for such a space, where young people could feel both safe and supported as they shared their experiences.

The way they expressed the importance of having someone who truly listened was telling—many spoke about how it was the first time they had ever felt genuinely heard and validated in their experiences. They shared how, in the past, their experiences had been dismissed by others, with people telling them to ‘get over it’, that it ‘wasn’t a big deal’, and that ‘these things just happen’. This led young people feeling guilty about not knowing how to move forward in the way others wanted them to and keeping quiet about the abuse they had faced, feeling as though nobody wanted to take the time to listen to how it had made them feel. For those who attended, this space offered something they had longed for: the opportunity to feel seen, respected, believed and heard.”

RASAC PK is here to support all young people aged 12+ who have been affected by sexual violence or want to know more information on healthy relationships. If you would like to speak to us, give us a call on 01738 630965 or email support@rasacpk.org.uk. We are here to listen, believe and support.

 

 

If only I was born a boy…

I identify as a feminist. (I know, scary right?) You have no idea the reactions I get when I tell people I’m a feminist, but I won’t get into it, as that’s a whole other blog. But I am going to tell you why I am a feminist.

 

  • When I was 5, my grandparents told me I could not go play in the woods with my cousins because I was a girl. I was confused, angry, and felt like it was a punishment for being a girl.
  • When I was 7, my aunt told me and my female cousin, that we could not go on a bike ride with her as there were only enough bikes for the boys. I understand that adults have to make difficult decisions at times, but did she have to make it about my gender? I was angry, felt rejected and had a great sense of injustice.
  • When I was 7, I asked for a building kit for my birthday from my grandparents, I got a kitchen and cooking kit. I was annoyed.
  • When I was 8, I was walking through an open air market place with my parents and a man walked by and touched my bottom. I felt uncomfortable but thought it was a mistake, he then did it again and I felt panicked, he then did it again and burst into tears. My parents were confused at why I was crying, I didn’t have the words to tell them what happened, I was just overwhelmed.
  • When I was 8, I was playing in a field near my house and a teenage boy, probably 14 or so came up to me and told me he was going to ‘fuck me’. I didn’t know what that word meant but I knew by the way he said it I had to get way fast, he went to grab me and I ran as fast as I could back home. I never told my mum because I was worried that I would get in trouble. I don’t know why I felt this, I just did.
  • When I was 9, my uncle’s neighbor flashed me from his bedroom window when I was playing in the garden. When I told the adults my aunt came out with a camera and pointed it to his house. He shut the curtains. When back inside the adults all laughed about it and told me that in life there are dirty old men. I felt uneasy.
  • When I was 11, a group of girls in my class told me I had to start wearing a bra because my breast were showing. I felt ashamed and embarrassed and confused, why did I have to hide my breasts? I got my mum to buy me bras the next day.
  • When I was 13, a boy at school lifted up my skirt in the school corridor between classes. His friend’s laughed and I felt humiliated and scared. I told my teacher, she told me ‘boys will be boys’ and I should just ignore it and they would leave me alone.
  • When I was 15, my mum told me that I had to watch my weight as boys didn’t like fat girls and that I would never get a good job if I was too big. I was angry and deflate. It didn’t matter if my grades were good and I worked hard.
  • When I was 16, a boyfriend pressured me to have sex, when I refused he dumped me and told his friends I was a whore. I was angry and ashamed.
  • When I was 17, the first time I went to the pub a man told me I had really ‘nice tits’. I was uncomfortable and embarrassed. My friends reassured me it was a good thing that men found me sexy.
  • When I was 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, I was groped and pinched on the bottom or my breasts when out clubbing by a range of men. I was angry, annoyed, eventually thought it was quite normal.
  • When I was 18, my grandfather told me I had to be careful about the number of boyfriends I had because men didn’t like ‘tainted meat’. I was furious but didn’t say anything because I had to be respectful of my grandfather.
  • When I was 19, walking home from university a man tapped me on the shoulders, I stopped thinking he needed directions, he told me I be really pretty if I wasn’t so fat. I was so surprised I stood there looking at him, unable to utter a word. I was furious, deflated, embarrassed.
  • When I was 20, whilst walking through town a man told me to ‘cheer up hen’. I was so angry, how dare he tell me to cheer up, my grandmother had just died but yet I still had to be a pretty happy object to be viewed by men.
  • When I was 21, I was wolf whistled by 4 men in a van. I ignored them, they slowed down and told me to get in for a ‘good time’. I was terrified, no one around me seemed to acknowledge this was happening.
  • When I was 22, walking to the train station a man followed me, winking at me every time a looked at his face, even though I changed my route a number of times, he followed closely. It was getting dark and I was very anxious. He came up to me and told me to come with him. I quickly walked all the way to the station never looking back.
  • When I was 25, when in a cash machine que a man whispered ‘whore’ into my ear as he walked past.

 

I am now 40, and although I have many more example of everyday sexism, harassment and low level sexual assault, there are fewer every year, which is a relief. Sadly the statistics show that under the age of 25 you are significantly more likely to experience sexual violence.

So there it is, that’s why I’m a feminist, because the vast majority of this would not have happed to me if I had been born a boy.

I’d rather be a rebel than a slave...

(by a RASAC Youth Ambassador Volunteer)

So, what is a feminist? Easy: someone who is on board with one idea; All humans, male and female, should have equal political, economic and social rights – with no bra burning necessary, because let’s be honest, bras are expensive. As a woman in the 21st century I need feminism because I don’t want to have to fear for my own safety at night when I walk on my own. I’m a feminist because I want my unborn daughter to have the chance to grow up into a strong, intelligent person, who has exactly the same opportunities as any man. Feminism is still relevant because domestic abuse, a gender pay gap and sexism is still relevant. Even if you’ve never personally experienced any of these things, other women do every single day, and feminism is leading the way to eradicating this, full stop.

If you take a slight glance at our media industry and flip through a magazine or listen to the lyrics of popular songs, unfortunately you’ll find a recurring theme: the sexualisation of women and girls. These images are damaging and slowly they are becoming more graphic with the messages behind them increasing in aggression. Many people have grown blind to the seriousness of this offense, and don’t acknowledge its devastating social impact. Advertisements have gone as far as featuring women in degrading poses and acts that promote violence and sexual harassment towards women. Dolce and Gabbana released an advert in the US that involved a woman being pinned down by a male positioned on top of her, whilst three more watched on. Over exposure to this behaviour has had an engraved impact on the younger generation as mental health has become a more stagnant issue than ever. Eating disorders and body issues alike are an everyday nightmare for teens and the media normally encourages this way of thinking. However, feminism is currently sweeping social media off its feet with the introduction of movements and hash-tags such as #heforshe, #yesallwomen and now #meetoo which trend for weeks at a time. This is encouraging feminist conversations and brings women together to talk about issues facing women on a daily basis, and with the help of celebrities (Beyoncé, Emma Watson) it’s happening a whole lot faster.

It’s important to credit how it isn’t just the media who sets destructive standards for young people, as pornography is easily accessible through the internet and children as young as 10 claim that they are addicted to watching porn. There is a staggering amount of growing evidence about the impact of porn on men's and boys' attitudes towards females, including their expectations and assumptions about sex and their tolerance of sexual violence. Within extreme porn, women are objectified and presented as mere objects without feelings or desires of their own but that’s not the worst of it; a lot of pornography is proudly misogynistic. Women are beaten, humiliated and used all to the extent of man’s pleasure. Porn doesn’t showcase men and women as equal partners, sexually speaking, underlines a warped viewpoint of sex that promotes rape culture. This is the basic of feminist criticism towards porn. If the education system and parents took it upon themselves to teach children and be brutally honest about sex, many youngsters wouldn’t have to turn to the internet and porn to find answers to their questions about sex. Feminist and activist Jennifer Baumgardner states, “Having a reproductive system is very powerful and a huge responsibility. It’s borderline child abuse not to provide the tools for young people to understand their bodies and what they are capable of.” This shows that in order to tackle sexual assault in the future we need to kill the root presently which lies in the pornography industry.

Women face inequality in all sectors of life in comparison to men, one being that a woman must break through a metaphorical ‘glass ceiling’ in order to establish a career for herself. The best paid women who work full time earn around 20 per cent less than the best paid men who work full time, the same difference as a decade ago. On average women have lower incomes than men, work in lower-paid sectors of the economy and are less likely to reach the top in their chosen careers. In regards to women in power, only a quarter of MPs in the House of Commons today are women. This underrepresentation of women reinforces the idea that women are weaker than men and don’t have what it takes to run a business, company or country. In the contemporary world women no longer spend their days at home bringing up children and doing household chores. Women in thetwenty-first century are mothers, business owners and are also risking their lives on the frontline in warzones alongside men. The campaigning group ‘UK Feminista’ has taken up the cause of the living wage which highlights that feminism is for both genders just as the living wage effects both men and women. Women are getting more involved in political and social issues as this new wave of feminism has come back more determined than ever.

We must take it upon ourselves to remind our daughters, sisters and friends of the cliché that beauty comes in many shapes, sizes and colours despite what the media preaches. We must take the time to reverse the years of brainwashing and teach young men and boys about gender equality and erase the stigma associated with the word ‘feminism’. The next generation of young people are to be raised as a society who aims for change and equality for both genders, and until that day comes I recognise as a feminist and will not play into the hands of society. In the words of Emmeline Pankhurst, “I’d rather be a rebel than a slave.”

That quiet rumble has grown in to a roar…

I have recently been invited to a 10 year Anniversary party for the Rape Crisis Scotland Helpline and it’s got me thinking. Becoming part of the Rape Crisis movement just over 10 years ago has changed my life. For the first time I got to work with a team of people who all identified as feminists.

They actively addressed power imbalances and encouraged me to have a seat at the table. Now I’m a working class woman from Fife – I didn’t have training in Feminism or indeed even know what a ‘feminist’ was. Feminism was explained to me by a man in a rock band. Ironic? Perhaps not. I did know that I was often treated differently because I was a woman – I hadn’t been allowed to play rugby at school and was instead forced in to the violent terror that is school hockey. I had been judged on how I looked (too pale, too frizzy), how I dressed (too baggy, too much on show) and how I spoke (Who is Ken? Barbie’s boyfriend?!). But I got to sit with these amazing women, from diverse backgrounds and I had a space. Now I struggle to speak up in large groups, but as I grew accustomed to the ways of these rebellious women, I was encouraged to do so.

Slowly I began to realise that not only did I have something to say, but it was valuable. I thought we could change the world. And in some ways, we have. The National Helpline has answered around 35,000 calls since it began. I think it’s fair to say that some worlds have been positively changed because the Rape Crisis movement exists. And that quiet rumble has grown in to a roar. We are busier than ever. We want the world to be a safer and more equal place for all. We listen, we believe and we support. I urge anyone who identifies as a woman and has any free time to look in to how you can become part of this too. It’s awesome and it changes lives.

Referral form

If you would like to refer yourself into our support service or would like to refer a woman or young person you are working with, download our Referral Form.

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